


Through The Pain

by Killer_Queen



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Illness, loki sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-10-28 15:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17790173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killer_Queen/pseuds/Killer_Queen
Summary: “I’m sure he’s fine.” Clint had reassured.They didn’t worry when Loki started coughing. Just a little retch every once in a while, nothing serious. They didn’t worry when they saw Loki’s pale skin, because he was always pale. They didn’t worry when he asked Tony to drive him to the doctors. Just a precaution, they thought. Just to make sure he was all okay. He would be back, smiling, in a while. They worried when the pair didn’t return within an hour. They worried more when they didn’t return in a few hours. Then they missed a call from Tony.........And Tony came back....without Loki.





	1. That stupid cough!

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I start typing with terrible PMS. Nothing good.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody worried when Loki got sick. They thought he would be fine, nothing to worry about. Even Loki thought he was okay. How wrong they all were.....

Another gentle cough told Steve that Loki still wasn’t getting better. He wanted to ask him if he was okay, but he’d been doing that for nearly two weeks with no answer other than “yes” or “I’m fine”. He knew he was probably overreacting. Loki probably was fine. A cough for a god was surely nothing to worry about. So Steve left it. As long as nothing was seriously wrong, he had no reason to fret.

Two days later, Loki felt tired when he got out of bed, unusual as he had actually slept longer than usual. His body felt heavy and compressed. He stood up to try to clear his foggy mind. He slapped a hand to his mouth as he coughed. That stupid cough! It still wouldn’t go away! The hand was covered with a thickish yellowy green slime when he pulled it away. Mucus. Cursing, he washed it off in the bathroom. He coughed a few more times. This time, he realised that his chest was growing sore. But he continued as normal.  
At lunchtime, the dull pain sharpened and he winced. Luckily, nobody was around to see. He didn’t want to concern them. The sharpness faded somewhat and, apart from a few more coughs, he was confident that he was fine. His mind felt as though it was surrounded by clouds. Clint walked in. “Hey, Loki, do you know where the coffee is?” He asked as he searched the cabinets. Loki did know. The coffee tin was sitting on a shelf just above Clint’s head. But his brain somehow didn’t comprehend it. He definitely knew, but he couldn’t turn the thoughts into words. He coughed again and was slowly able to clear his mind enough to give Clint directions. Deciding that his sudden tiredness was to blame, he went for a lie down.  
He hadn’t fallen asleep, but he became more aware, as though he had just woken up. He realised he was hot and sweating. There was tingling his in lungs and he coughed again, more violently, bringing up more mucus. He washed it off again and shuddered as a sudden chill ran through him, mixing horribly with the fever. He finally accepted that he was a little under the weather. Perhaps seeking help would be a sensible course of action.

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Clint reassured Steve. He had just cast a mention of Loki’s sudden urge to seek medical attention. The guy wasn’t even a human, after all. He was probably just curious to see how mortal medicine worked. Clint had noticed that Loki had seemed a bit run down lately, but didn’t everyone get like that sometimes? He was confident when he told Steve that everything was fine. How could it not be? Besides, if something was wrong, Loki was in good hands. He might even run into Bruce, who had started work at the hospital that Tony had surely taken him to. 

“Has anyone heard from them?” Natasha asked three hours later. Nobody answered. Now they were starting to get a bit worried. Loki’s curiosity couldn’t have kept them lingering at the hospital was that long.  
They trained. All phones were left on vibrate and out of pockets, like always. They couldn’t afford such distractions when trying to concentrate on battle tactics. They all made a lot of mistakes. Each of them had the jitters, especially Thor, who had growing anxiety for his little brother. They decided that training was useless after an hour of blunders and stubbed toes. They picked up their things.  
“Hey, I’ve missed a call from Tony.” Said Clint as he looked at his phone.  
“Me too.” Said Natasha, checking hers as well.  
“So have I.” Said Steve. They all had. They were very worried when Tony didn’t call back. He must have been desperate to get through to them if he tried to ring them all.

When Tony returned, the news wasn’t good. Loki wasn’t with him. Loki was in hospital. On a ventilator.  
Tony slowly told them the story. How the doctor had frowned when hearing the description of Loki’s symptoms, how he had furrowed his brow when pressing the cold stethoscope to Loki’s pale chest. How his eyes had widened when Loki had gone into a fit of coughs. How he had shaken his head at the x rays. How he had ordered more and more tests. How he had decided on a diagnosis. How he had reacted quickly when Loki coughed again, more violently, left short of breath. How he had made the call to put their friend on an oxygen mask for his low oxygen levels. How he had later ordered it to be switched to a ventilator when things grew worse. How he had given Tony a grim look.  
They all wondered how Loki could have possibly got pneumonia. How could a god get sick?  
The answer?  
Loki wasn’t a god. Not really. He just looked like one. Not only was his physiology different from a human’s, it was different from Thor’s. Thor was unable to decide whether or not a frost giant could contract mortal diseases. One things was certain. Loki had contracted it.

Things improved. Loki was taken off the ventilator after two days. The antibiotics started doing their job. It wasn’t a miraculous recovery. It was much slower than he would have liked. But at least he was alive. But he was tired, and his head was still a little unclear. He hated how he had almost no energy. He hated how he couldn’t train. He hated that he was stuck in hospital. But the others visited every day during visiting hours, and Bruce dropped in during his lunch break. He was grateful for his friends. He was grateful that his illness was going away. But he was not grateful to the illness. That stupid cough.

When he was finally discharged, he tried to do simple tasks, even though he was strictly banned from training, fighting, mischief making, spell casting and anything over exerting (so pretty much anything fun). He tried to reorganise the kitchen cabinets, but they even stopped him from doing that. They all said things like “not in your state” or “just focus on getting better, okay? We can handle things for you.”  
It was frustrating, but he was glad he had friends to help him through the pain.


	2. Getting there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki’s recovery was still happening. It was slow, and he didn’t like it. Taking comfort in his friends was growing harder and harder as they continued to stop him doing things he knew he was capable of. Thankfully, the doc finally told them to relent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t planning to add another chapter, but here we go.

Loki looked both ways as he walked out of his room. The corridor was empty. Sighing with relief, he started walking. He was two weeks into his recovery, which was predicted to take four to six weeks at the most. For the first few days, even walking had tired him, but he was growing stronger now, stronger by the day. Walking was no longer a challenge. But that hadn’t stopped Tony from putting limitations on him. He wasn’t supposed to walk around after 2:00 PM. He was supposed to rest and lie down. He was happy to relax up to a point, but eventually there was a point where books could no longer entertain him. It was 3:00 PM now. He had to escape. He had to do SOMETHING. Anything. Anything other than read, write or sit around doing nothing. He wanted to do something worthwhile. He walked past the elevator, which opened. He groaned.  
“Ah, what do you think you’re doing?” Tony asked. Loki turned around and looked at him like a child that had been caught misbehaving.   
“Walking.” He said in the most innocent way he could. It wasn’t a lie!  
“And what time is it? Oh, it’s 3:00 PM, which I’m sure you know.” Tony said, glancing at his watch.  
“I’m not a child.” Loki said, which was true.  
“No moving about after 2:00 PM, Loki. That’s what the doctor said.”  
“He said not to over exert myself. YOU are the one who said that.” Loki said, which was also true.  
“Bed.”

Bruce watched as Tony marched an annoyed looking Loki down the corridor. Loki threw him an irritated look, as though it was his fault, before staring back at the floor. Bruce knew that feeling only too well. The feeling of being completely out of control of everything, not being able to make decisions. To be left with only his own mind for company. It was worse for Loki, because he didn’t have a Hulk to blame for his incapability to act at his own accord. No, Loki only had his own unlucky body to blame. And perhaps Tony. He couldn probably blame Tony as well. Bruce knew that even though he was on his day off, he would have to play doctor.

“Tony, I think it’s time for you to let off on Loki a bit.” He said later.  
“He’s still recovering.” Tony said firmly. Bruce looked him in the eye firmly.  
“Yes, but he is getting better. You need to let him have some more freedom.”  
“I don’t want him to get sick again. I’m just trying to make sure he gets better.”  
“But locking him up like a prisoner isn’t good for his mental health, Tony. It’s driving him insane, and how is that helping him get better?”  
Tony sighed deeply.  
“I know. I know. I’m just trying to protect him. I really just want him to be happy and healthy again. I suppose I feel a bit guilty because I didn’t realise he was as sick as he was.” He finally admitted. Bruce nodded.  
“I think we all feel a bit like that. It’s funny isn’t it? How people don’t think about what they have until they nearly lose it.”  
Tony nodded, because it was true. All too true.  
“I still find it hard to believe he tried to kill us. And we did our best to kill him.” He finally said, thinking of the old memory. It was Bruce’s turn to nod.  
“But that was a long time ago. Now, he’s a good friend. A friend who nobody wants to see hurt.”  
“Never. I never want to seem him stuck in that darn hospital again.”  
“Then stop keeping him stuck up outside of the hospital.”  
Tony finally relented. Bruce patted his shoulder.  
“I know you’re just trying to keep him safe. But he is recovering.”  
“Yeah. Slowly, but he’s getting there.”


	3. A shield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though Loki was getting better, there was that word. GETTING better. He wasn’t completely well yet, and he still needed rest. But he wouldn’t accept that. He needed someone to put him in line. To make him rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some nice fluffy friendly FrostShield.

Loki coughed again. He had been walking around a lot, and he was starting to admit to himself that he might have over done it a bit. But he would only admit that to himself. Not to anyone else. He wouldn’t listen. He wasn’t a child, and some of them seemed to have forgotten that. Particularly Thor. Thor would barely leave him alone. He was always in his hair. Loki even remembered Thor offering to wash his hair a few days ago. He was perfectly capable of that himself!.....Most of the time. Yes, he was a bit tired that day, but that didn’t mean was a baby bunny that needed to be fussed over. He hated the attention he was getting. He had never liked attention. Or at least, too much attention. He didn’t want the others to fuss over him like they were. At least Natasha did her best not to get in his way. She only tried to help him when she thought he was struggling, unlike the others. The others tried to help him with everything. His patience was wearing thin. He coughed again as he thought of this. His body was still trying to expel the last of the mucus. Another few weeks. The doctor kept changing his mind on when he would be better. At least four more weeks now, he said. Loki sighed. He knew that they were all trying to help him, but sometimes he just wanted to be alone. He was strange in that way. Sometimes, he wanted nothing more than to be with others, to know that he wasn’t the only one. Other times, he wanted total solitude. He was somewhere in the middle at that moment. He kept coughing. He hadn’t been coughing much for the last few days. He knew he’d over done it. And so did Steve, who had walked up to him as he paused in the corridor to catch his breath.  
“I think you’re pushing yourself, Loki.” He said. Loki shook his head when he caught his breath.  
“I’m fine.” He said, his voice a bit dry from the coughing.  
“No, you’re not fine. You need to relax.” Steve said. He knew that he had to keep Loki from walking himself to death.   
“I know it’s horrible to feel that you have to sit around and do nothing while everyone else does your job for you, but sometimes it just has to be that way. You’ve been sick and you have to get better before you can go back to normal.”  
Slowly, Loki nodded. Something about Steve made him feel like he was the only one that really understood how he was feeling. He started walking, but in the direction of his room. Steve followed. He had to make sure that he did exactly what he needed to do to recover. A sick soldier was a dead soldier......He needed to stop thinking like that. He had to keep reminding himself that the times were different. That this wasn’t the army. That Loki wasn’t just another doomed comrade, sick and weak. But he knew that Loki had the fighting spirit of a soldier. He had one thing on his side.

Loki eased himself back on his his pillows, leaning but not lying. He gave a few sharp coughs. Steve was watching from the doorway.  
“You alright? Want some help?” He asked. Loki shook his head.  
“But thank-you for the offer.” He said after a minute.   
“Anytime.” Steve said, smiling. Loki looked at him, and Steve could tell that he really was thankful. Steve walked off. When he walked back past half an hour later, he couldn’t help looking into the room. Loki was already asleep. Even in slumber, the pale and slim mischief maker looked troubled. Steve wondered if there would ever be a time when Loki could rest easy. He hoped so. He noticed that Loki’s head was resting on the bed head and his arm was hanging down. That didn’t seem comfortable. He couldn’t help it. He went in quietly and moved Loki around a bit, making sure not to be too rough. It wasn’t hard. He was strong and Loki didn’t weigh much. He could have imagined, but he swore that Loki smiled a little in his unconscious state.


	4. Hospital again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki found himself in the position of many pneumonia patients. The position that nobody wanted to be in. He didn’t want to go back to the hospital, but he had little choice.......Not with so many stubborn friends.

Loki found himself in a fierce fit of coughs. He hadn’t had one as bad as this one for a long while. He nearly choked on himself as his body tried and tried to dispel the mucus. But nothing came up when he finally caught his breath. Nobody was around.

Loki was sitting reading a book. Tony was sitting on a chair nearby, also absorbed in reading. This was how the two had spent many afternoons in the past days. Loki was sitting up in bed. A familiar tickling sensation rose in his chest. His lungs contorted and ached. He starting coughing again. Again and again. He pulled himself to the side of his bed, hands by his side as he failed to stop himself from retching. Tony’s book hit the floor as the man flew out of his chair in shock and worry. He ran over to him. Loki coughed for another minute, perhaps two, before he could stop. He was exhausted and in pain when he finally brought himself back under control. He looked up at two concerned faces. He hadn’t realised that Steve had entered the room.  
“Are you okay?” Tony asked. The billionaire looked quite pale. Loki opened his mouth to answer, but he couldn’t get his voice to work. His lungs opened up to let in air to make him speak, but something wasn’t right. He coughed again, but less severely. He tried to talk again, but his lungs kept letting him down. He could feel the mucus in them, stuck and refusing to be coughed up.  
“I’m f-f-fine.” He finally managed to choke through another coughing fit. He had never told a less believable lie. He lungs felt sore and heavy. Steve also looked pale with worry. He looked at Tony.  
“He needs to go back to the doctor.” He said, addressing Stark. Tony nodded. Each took one of Loki’s upper arms and tried to pull him up.  
“Come on, Loki.” Tony said as he refused to budge. Loki choked his objections through the continuous but now quieter retches. Steve wrapped an arm around his back and forced him to stand. Loki knew that just doing this went past Steve’s comfort zone. The captain didn’t like forcing people to do things, didn’t like making people do things they didn’t want to (unless it was a villain in need of defeating, of course). Standing did help Loki breathe a little easier. The pain sharpened.  
“I....I d-d-don’t....” He muttered, but even this left him short of breath. The other two guided him out. He slowly regained his energy, until he was confident that he wouldn’t collapse. He hadn’t been so sure a few minutes ago. He was grateful that Tony and Steve had been nearby. Almost poetically, they were the only other two at home. The others had gone on a mission. He liked it that way. Best not to worry them. With luck, they wouldn’t hear of the incident.

“Just a night or two. Just so you can have more antibiotics.” Tony tried to comfort Loki as he lay back with a drip in his arm once again. This did little to calm the annoyed troublemaker. The oxygen mask had only just come off after half an hour with it on. Steve walked back into the room.  
“I’ve dropped Clint a line telling him where we are.” He said. Loki frowned deeper than he already was. He really hadn’t wanted to worry the others. But he didn’t open his mouth to say so. He really did want to rest his lungs as much as possible. The pain had mostly eased now, and he could breath easy again, but he was extremely tired. More tired than he should have been by walking a few steps. He knew that he was in the right place, but he still hated it. He hated the feeling of the hospital. The white. Everything white. Barely another colour to rest his eyes on. He hated the sterile smell, the disinfectant. He hated how the staff smiled at him blindly, always saying “you’ll be better in no time”. He hated how he was stuck there. It was like a prison. A prison for the sick and injured. It did give him something to think about, though. He wondered who had been in that room before him. A man or a woman? Sick or injured? Where were they now? Had they recovered, or had they met their fate in the horrible prison? He would never know. Steve cast him a gentle look, and his eyes started to droop. He was asleep within a minute.


	5. In the clear.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve had a horrible dream. In the dream, things had gone terribly wrong. In the dream, he had lost one of his best friends. When he woke up, he was worried that it hadn’t been a dream at all.

Tears ran down Steve cheeks as the dark oak coffin was lowered into the ground. He could hear Tony choking out sobs, only standing because an also crying Pepper was supporting him. Clint was holding Natasha up. She couldn’t stand on her own. She was too distraught. Thor wasn’t there. The very idea of the event had been too much for him to face. Bruce was staring at the coffin, bags beneath his eyes and guilt all over his face. Steve knew that he blamed himself for what had happened, but it hadn’t been his fault. Steve could feel his own knees shaking. Finally, the coffin was fully lowered and they were allowed to sit again. A man dressed in a black suit stood up. He started reading a long and dreary speech (Steve wasn’t sure, but it could have possibly been an extract from the bible or a sermon). The speech seemed much too mournful for the bright and sunny day it was. Steve wished that clouds would cover the sun. He was sweating in his suit, but that wasn’t why he wanted the sun to go away. He wanted it to be dark so he couldn’t see the shape of the coffin in the hole. He tried to tune in to the man’s words, but he quickly stopped listening. Whatever those words were, they didn’t describe Loki one bit. Nothing could describe Loki as he lived, a tortured soul, redeemed and a loving and cheeky friend. Nothing could describe Loki as he died, out of the blue in hospital, choked by his own lungs and unable to be revived. The whole funeral was wrong. Steve wished that he had taken up a larger role in the plans, so that Loki could have had the send off that he deserved, but he had been too devastated. They all had been. Steve could smell a faint scent on the air. It was the sweet smell of the lilies, roses and other flowers that had been lowered down with the coffin. He smelt another smell, but knew that he was imagining it. It was the special scent that Loki had carried on his clothes and on his body. Steve couldn’t quite describe it. He focused on the imaginary smile and almost smiled as he thought of what Loki would have said. “Flowers.” He would have scoffed. “You covered my coffin in flowers?”. Steve allowed himself a small smile then. He knew that Loki wouldn’t have wanted to be cried over too much. Or would he? Nobody knew what Loki had wanted. He hadn’t been at risk. He was only supposed to be in hospital for a night or two to get more medicine! Why had life been so unfair on them? Steve’s tiny smile faded as he thought of Loki’s smile, always so wide and mischievous. The tears were coming thicker now. They threatened to choke him. His lungs felt heavy and his chest exploded in fiery pain. He suddenly felt cold. And alone, totally alone. He was scared and terrified. What was happening to him? Where were his friends?He knew he was reliving Loki’s final moments. Sharp pains hit his chest. He started shaking and Loki’s scent grew ever stronger.

Steve woke up. He felt the cold concrete beneath him, and heard the dripping of water. He opened his eyes as another rock hit his chest. Pebbles.  
“Stop throwing them. He’s awake.” Loki complained, though he shook him one more time to make sure. Clint threw one more for fun. It bounced off Loki’s head. Loki sighed. Steve remembered where they were. Trapped in a cellar after a mission. And Loki was alive. Perfectly healthy. The pneumonia was long gone. He had been in the clear for two months. Loki stopped crouching by his side and stood up. He offered his hand. Steve took it and was pulled to his feet. He was relieved that Loki finally had that level of strength back. He looked around the cellar. Loki and Clint were the only others in there. Nothing had changed since he’d fallen asleep to have the horrific nightmare. Loki also looked around and smiled. His smile was wide and oh so mischievous.  
“Time to leave, I think. Let’s have some fun.” He said, not a trace of a cough in his voice as he looked around for a way to trick their enemies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was never meant to be a long fanfic. I was originally only going to post the first chapter on its own. Sorry for the pathetic ending, but I wanted away to finish it with a happy ending.
> 
> Please leave feedback if you can! I want some input so I can write others like this :).


	6. This isn’t part of the story, but please read!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I need ideas! Please don’t ignore this!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you PRETTY PLEASE read this?

Hi everyone!

I’m adding this a few weeks after I finished writing the fanfic. I really enjoyed writing this, and want to do more sick Loki fics. Can I PLEEEEEEEAAAASE have ideas!? Just leave a comment with your ideas for a sick Loki fan fiction so I can get an idea and write one! Please nothing too explicit as I want to keep them teen and up!  
Thanks!  
Extra thanks if you commented your ideas!


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